Identity & Revision - Orbiting the Self
This group represents my launch point—the moment I left the surface and began orbiting ideas about who I am and how I write. These pieces explore the inner universe of identity and the transformative power of revision.
The Hyphen That Holds Me is the heart of this section. It’s a personal narrative about navigating the gravitational pull of multiple cultures and languages—about being tethered between worlds and learning to create meaning in the space between. Writing it helped me understand that identity isn’t static—it’s a constellation of experiences constantly shifting into alignment.
Revision Practice #1 was my first major thruster burn—a moment of propulsion where I pushed past surface-level edits and truly experimented. By rewriting a single paragraph in five radically different forms, I learned that revision isn’t just about adjusting course—it's about exploring new orbits entirely.
Together, these artifacts show how I began my journey as a writer in this course—by looking inward, trusting my voice, and learning how to adapt my writing to better reflect the complex gravity of thought and emotion.
Star Systems Aligned (Outcomes):
#1: Writing Processes and Adaptation
#5: Writing and Power
#6: Revision
The Hyphen That Holds Me (Literacy Narrative)
Assignment details
For the Module One Project, I was asked to write a literacy narrative that explored an important moment or experience that shaped my identity as a writer or reader. The goal was to reflect on how writing or reading has influenced my life and the kind of writer I am today. I chose to tell the story of how my multicultural background and early experiences with language shaped my voice as a writer, especially through my discovery of poetry. In this narrative, I used the hyphen as both a literal and symbolic connection between my identities and explored how writing became a place where I could bridge cultures and express myself.
Reflection
This piece is my personal origin story—where I first charted the terrain of my identity through language. Using the metaphor of a hyphen, I explored what it feels like to live between cultures, between languages, and between expectations. Through this narrative, I found power in writing as a way to express complexity and claim a space that felt entirely mine.
It was through this piece that I first realized writing could be more than communication—it could be navigation. I was plotting my coordinates as a writer and learning that voice isn’t just something you find—it’s something you build in orbit.
Feedback
The title page shouldn’t had been Bolded
Incorrect use of quotation marks around nationalities
Misused hyphens where dashes were needed.
Misused hyphens where dashes were needed.
The flower and poetry metaphor lost clarity in paragraph nine and ten. This confused the reader and interrupted the otherwise strong narrative.
Main feedback points:
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Formatting:
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Title should not be bold.
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Incorrect use of quotation marks around nationalities.
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Grammar/Mechanics:
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Misused hyphens where dashes were needed.
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Content/Clarity:
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The flower and poetry metaphor lost clarity in paragraph nine and ten. This confused the reader and interrupted the otherwise strong narrative.
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Strengths:
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Excellent opening and strong use of the hyphen as a central analogy.
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Skillful explanation of complex identity.
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Very well written narrative overall.
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Revision Practice #1
Assignment details
For Revision Practice #1, I was asked to select what I believed was the weakest paragraph from my Literacy Narrative and reimagine it five different ways, each in a unique style. This creative assignment was designed to help me see revision as more than simple correction—it encouraged me to experiment with voice, tone, and structure. I rewrote my paragraph in formats like a poem, a sonnet, slang, a question-based style, and a playful humorous style. After reflecting on the rewrites, I selected my favorite version and then created a fully revised version to replace the original. This process helped me understand how revision can transform not only wording but also meaning, mood, and audience engagement. It became a space where I exercised creativity and gained a deeper appreciation for the flexibility of writing.
This assignment was like running a system check on everything I thought I knew about writing. I took one paragraph from my narrative and rewrote it in five different styles: poem, sonnet, slang, rhetorical questions, and humor. Each version altered the trajectory of the message, showing me how form and tone shape meaning.
The sonnet version became my favorite. This process reminded me that writing, like space flight, requires constant recalibration. Sometimes you have to adjust your path mid-journey, and sometimes you have to throw out the manual entirely and try something new.
Reflection
Feedback
In my Revision Practice #1, when rewriting the paragraph in a sonnet style, I didn’t fully follow the traditional structure required for a sonnet. The rhyme scheme I used didn’t match the standard ABAB CDCD EFEF FF pattern, and my lines did not consistently use iambic pentameter (ten syllables per line, alternating stressed and unstressed syllables).
Main feedback points:
1. Reflection and Process:
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Clear and thoughtful explanation of why the original paragraph was weak.
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Strong reflection on how each rewrite enhanced clarity and expression.
2. Creativity and Execution:
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Successfully applied five distinct styles, showing creativity and flexibility.
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The final revised paragraph clarified the previously confusing metaphor and improved reader understanding.
3. Technical/Style Note:
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The sonnet version was praised for creativity but did not fully follow formal sonnet rules (incorrect rhyme scheme and lack of iambic pentameter).
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Instructor invited me to attempt a corrected sonnet version if interested.
4. Strengths:
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Excellent use of creative formats to explore revision.
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Effective final paragraph revision that resolved earlier clarity issues.
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Demonstrated growth in understanding how style and structure influence meaning.
